I am not sure exactly what I did last night. I don't mean that I don't remember last night. I mean that I am not sure why I did it. I am not a weak person, nor am I a strong person with a weak personality. It is just that... I am not sure why i would allow that to happen.
I feel that I should explain before your imagination gets carried away. Last night I had a party at the house, and from there I headed up to my room. I received an Instant message. i responded and then later on, I ended up at a bar with him and then at his house. Nothing terrible happened, there was a brief moment of physical "contact", but that was short lived and I was rather unenthusiastic, so he stopped. I just feel guilty, because I didn't call Matt before hand. There was no sex, so no need to call. But. I still feel guilty.
And I think that he might try and look up some records on me, not that he will find anything, all of mine have been sealed. Luckily, he is unable to find anything if he doesn't know exactly what he is looking for.
I have run his name, and found him to have a clean record.
There is something else bothering me. He and Matt knew each other. That is the worst part... and that is the part that made me a little uncomfortable. Maybe last night was a mistake? I don't know. I would like to think that it was all not just hormones and alcohol. I am a bit lonely right now, really, that is it. I am going to act on this, but I will give it a moment to simmer. And by that, I mean I will let it sort itself out. He might not be thinking hard about anything right now, but I am.
