Wednesday, December 29, 2010

stop sending hate mail

I received a hate filled email a few days ago. I suppose that everyone is entitled to their opinions, and they have right to voice their opinions... on public property. I have posted previously the rules of a certain web forum as they relate to angry posts and messages; if it isn't public property, you live by my rules. If you don't like what I post, don't read it. Or at least support your hate mail with reasons why you think I am such a terrible person.
Moral: you can disagree with something, and even voice your opinion, as long as you act like a mature and reasonable person. Swearing at people is not going to make to make your argument stronger.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

on giving

I am a generous person, there is little that I have that I will not give. However, recently I have been tested. All that I gave, it was not enough. I was bitter and angry that more was asked of me, and I refused. But now I see- it isn't ever enough. There will always be someone who needs it more than I do, always someone that my small gesture will truly help.
Even saying these words does not make me feel better, I am still angry and bitter that so much is asked of me. I do not want to give any more.
Moral: you can know that something is the right thing, and want to do the right thing, and even actually do the right thing... but sometimes you still hate it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

10 PC Games that I liked

Because I cannot tell you which is my favorite, I am forced to put these into chronological order by release date. I enjoyed them all for the same reason; they are fun! I don’t enjoy games where you can’t win due to difficulty or wasting 40+ hours of my life playing just to get the end for completion sake. So, without further pause…

Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings (September 1999)
I first encountered this game on my father’s computer back in my late grade school/ early highshcool years. It came bundled with some other software or something like that, but for some reason I was transfixed by it. The third player perspective allows you to create and control an ancient civilization and attack surrounding groups. There are “Ages” that you must make it through (not a requirement of the game, but if you plan on beating the competition you really aut to get on that.) You choose a civilization in the beginning and lead them through their historically-enhanced development that is based on a real line of the world. I always played as the Brittans because they have archers and I liked distant attacks at that time in my life. There are also several preset campaigns like William Wallace and Joan d’Arch.
The Sims (February 2000)
We all remember this game, or have played one of the sequals. A 3rd person perspective game with questionable graphics and funny noises, this game lead in a whole new era of absolute control. Build your own house, create a social misfortune of a character, and then control every aspect of his life. I made my characters in two phases: heterosexual and then fags. Once I became gay, so did all my characters. This is a trend for all players, we create our characters to be similar to ourselves. Once you start up your household, it is just a matter of time till you have a career and a family, all of whom you can take complete control over (up to 8 people.)
Diablo 2 (June 2000)
I was a little late in finding this game, it wasn’t till 2008 that I picked up this jewel as the complete Battle Chest edition. The game is good, but the fact that so many people have it and that it isn’t a resource hog make LAN parties possible. The different character classes and character leveling choices make the game dynamic. I played as a Barbarian named Bubbles, but while LANing I was accompanied by a Sorceress, Necromancer and Druid. Also, the random treasure aspect of the game combined with the map randomizer makes every game different. Please note that this game has some of the best cheats available, various character trainers allow you to create your own weapons and beef up your character instantly. LANing with 4 other players who have magic spells attached to their weapons can create a small lag, but is surely something to see on screen.
Clive Barker’s Undying (February 2001)
This game was the first game that I bought that ever scared me. The plot circles around a convoluted family secret of death. The graphics were a little behind the times and the music was almost monotonous, but the game play took you through a mansion filled with non-regenerating baddies (thank God, because you only get six rounds before you have to reload that dam pistol). The game features the best human sacrifice scene I have ever encountered, actually giving me a reoccurring nightmare (but it is to the point of lucid dreaming now, so all is good). The numerous online threads urging the creators for a remake speak a testimate for the great plot. There is also the matter of the unexplained magic aspect of the game. Being a first person shooter, armed with a tiny arsenal of weapons and only a few spells makes this game a little limited. But you will have everything you need to follow along the plot. This game is bug free, and you never get stuck in a room with no way out, at least I never did.
F.E.A.R. (October 2005)
When I first played this game I was amazed by the revolutionary ability of the main character, who is able to temporarily speed up his reaction time and perception. This was so different because not until this point in game history was THE PLAYER given the bump in power. Rather than running faster or jumping higher, the entire world of the game was slowed down and the contrast increased. Bullets and fists flew by visibly trailed while being easily avoided. As for plots, this game features one of the more fucked up dark corners of human beings. Without giving away too much, trust me when I say that the little girl deserves to kill anyone she wants after being subjected to what she was put through. This game will definitely haunt you for weeks after you beat it, and being a first person shooter you get a great perspective during the gory scenes. Also, the addition of several hot spots in the maps will let loose various hallucinations for you character and other freaky things, many of which you aren’t sure if they are really in the game or not.
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (March 2006)
This game is still widely played, and with its massive fanbase mods make this game a bit more personalized... all my characters are stunningly beautiful people thanks to several body and face mods. Although the world is so large it may as well be infinite, there are limits of the map. But far to the north the land is covered by snow and the south is a marshy heated climate. The custom character class allows you to choose what aspects of your game you find important, and your choices lead to your leveling up as you excel in those areas. The aspect of magic deeply influences this game, with several different schools of magic to master, all of which require a different mindset to utilize. The main plot is for from the bulk of the game, as several add-on content packs expand the game nearly endlessly. Completing the entire game is impossible, as the results of your choices close off and open up different quests. As far as the resources required to run the game: the graphics can really heat up your hardware, especially when walking through grassy fields.

Titan Quest (June 2006)
Once the Diablo 2 LAN parties began to be unfashionable and repetitive, this was the next choice. Offering a leap forward in graphics and a more “real world” plot (we all know basic Greek mythology) this was a great deal of fun to play. Plus, there is no class limitations like wizards or barbarians. Everyone begins the same way and from there you can do anything anyone else can (but once you make a choice of specialization, it is concrete. However, you do get two specialties). For LANing I chose the melee character as usual, but gave him fire/earth magic also. When playing this game, I recommend one battle choice (defense, warfare, hunting, or something else like that) and one magic choice (fire/earth, lightning/ice, Dream, Nature, ect.). This game sports a great addon pack, Immortal Throne. But be warned- the addon is longer than the original game. Although the game was supposed to support internet play through game servers, only LAN is supported as the production company is now out of business.
Clive Barker’s Jericho (October 2007)
I got this game for one reason, it had Clive Barker’s name on it. I Loved Undying, and I loved this one. This first person shooter allows you to switch first person pespecnive between all the characters of the cast (at least the good guys) at any time after the first 3 or 4 levels of the game. I expected to find one character to be stronger than the rest or more useful, but truthfully, they all have their place. It was as if they laid out all the characters and said, “how is this character less than that character?” and then fixed it. The plot isn’t as frightening as Undying, but the gore makes up for it. And, unfortunately the game is just as linear, you can only go forward through the story line along one path (although you can replay any level at any time after completing it). This is the only game on the list that makes cheating impossible, by the way; no trainers, no codes, no console… no cheating. Also, the music created for this game is one of the best soundtracks I have ever heard.

Turok (April 2008)
I always liked the Turok series, but this one is a little different. The title character obviously has a history of steroid use, as is evident by his huge arms and short temper. And there is only one character that I enjoyed playing with (NPCs run alongside you to help fight), that being “Cowboy”. And we all know what happens to nice guys in these games…Beside that, the maps are hard to navigate and you frequently get lost in the greenery that looks the same as it did 500 yards ago. The plot lacks depth and is so linear you might as well be watching a movie. So why do I like this game enough to add it to my top ten? It is really fun to just let loose and slice some throats. This game is rated “M” for a reason. The knife kills are so realistically choreographed that it can make you a little squeamish the first few times. One more thing this game has going for it is the health bar… there isn’t one. As you play through the game and take damage the screen begins to fade to red, and time passed standing still heals Turok. Pretty cool, actually.
Dragon Age: Origins (November 2009)
Game of the year. Need I say more? Be you Melee or Magic character, your needs will be met. The spells in the game are impressive visually, and some can be combined to create new spells. As for melee players, dual weapons and countless armor and weapons are at your disposal. The game is pretty good about allowing you to actively work on multiple quests at the same time, and not create bugs from that fact. Just as every other game that allows you to play as multiple characters at the same time, this game limits your party size to 4, and offers no LAN gaming. A pretty good story line and the ability to drastically alter the game by saying the wrong things to the wrong people make this game different each time you play it. The standalone expansion pack isn’t worth playing.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

On Jeff

I first met Jeff my freshman year of college, about 5 years ago, when I was working at a store on campus. He was a frequent customer who had a crush on me I later found out. But a few months after meeting him I found out he has/had a degeneration blood disease. I doubt that is accurate, as I never really talked to him after that to find out the details. I was a scared kid who didn't know how to deal with something like that, so I just ignored him till he went away. I became his facebook friend before finding this out and never really got around to deleting him. I randomly clicked on his profile every once in awhile, and never stayed too long. But only moments ago I discovered his death. One of his friends (a REAL friend) posted funeral details a couple weeks ago, and since then people have been writing him things on his wall. I wish I hadn't been such chicken shit back then. I deleted him now, as i do not deserve to be his friend, even on facebook.
Moral: I am not the brave and loving person I think I am. Deep inside, or maybe it is long ago, I am fearful jerk who pushed away a dying man because I was afraid. What the hell was wrong with me?

Friday, December 03, 2010

Virgina

If everyone thought of other people before themselves, everybody would be taken care of.
-Virgina L. in her monologue

I