Matt came to visit

For a very long time i have wanted to see Matt again.  And last night I got to.  He was in northern Ohio visiting family and he came to visit me in Columbus.  I was happy to see him, and it was nice to catch up; show him what has happened in my life.    But I realized something:  We could not have made it together.  I grew up, he did not.  By the end of the trip I was sure that there is no longer chemistry.  We are simply friends now, no spark of emotional connection.  I no longer carry a flame for him.
Many would find this sad, I am sure he is one of those people, but I am not upset by it.  I am relieved.  I am moving to New York in a few months, and I am tyeing up loose ends.  He is a loose end.
We were torn apart by his career, which sounds pretty grown up, doesn't it?  But that tear left us both without closure.  I remembered only the found moments, and there were plenty of them, and neglected his short comings.  Now I see that he is not my ideal mate, and I am glad to know this.

...I am glad to know this...

A good Laugh

Russians

Doing what I do, you meet a lot of high power people.  But none compares to my friend (I now call him a friend rather than a client) Steve.  I will not disclose his last name.  Anyway, Steve invited me out last night to a bar to celebrate his birthday.  Where I met some of his other friends, all high powered people.  It would seem that success attracts success.  I have said this before, but it is always nice to see it come into fruition.

Moral: make new friends, and be sure to conduct yourself in a manner which does not destroy your social image.

Story of motivation dying:

 1. Hey, I want to get in shape. I CAN DO IT!        

2. How the heck do I do it? Let's do some research...

3. Great, I found the perfect routine for my body type.  I can make this work!

4. How the fuck do I do this exercise?!?  And I need the equipment... I should go to a gym!

 5. A membership costs how much!?!  And  I am embarrassed to even be here until I'm in better shape, and know how to do these exercises, and how much weight to put on the stupid bar... oh, wait, the bar alone weighs 45 pounds!?! can I even lift that?!?

6. Maybe I can find a friend to go with me and he can tell me how much weight to use and how to do each of the exercises on this little sheet I printed offline... No? "I'll slow you down?" "your schedule is too different than mine?" "you charge HOW MUCH to do that?... YOU'RE NOT EVEN A PERSONAL TRAINER! DON'T YOU HAVE TO GET CERTIFIED OR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU CAN CHARGE ME?!?"

7.  i can't do it.