I know I will dream tonight

I know what I will dream of tonight, and I hope it be brief, for it will not be pretty.

Today I was 100 feet above concrete flooring, I took a leap of faith and fell, I spiraled down, and then I hit rock bottom. And then I melted apart and seeped into the cracks of the world. dripping amongst the sentiment until reaching the earth's core where i am alone and I can spin and fold upon myself as shapeless.

It's gonna be a rough night.

treads

Years from now I will look this up and see... nothing.
And I can only hope... for nothing.. and for something to become nothing. and I fear that nothing will become something. and all that. NOTHING.

But for now, I hope for wind and nothingness.
Wind to just blow it all over, after all conflict is not so fun.

homeless

see blog.
http://www.lahomelessblog.org/

Reflect on love lost

I didn't' love him, but it is the best title for the universal occurrence.
There was a guy who was wonderful, and he was very much into me. I thought he was gorgeous. He liked opera, he was big and beefy, he has a above average -erm... thing--, he thought I was perfect. He was smart, and kind, and polite.
But I couldn't understand a goddam word the boy said...
He had the heaviest accent I ever tried to decipher.
He now speaks perfectly clear English over 3 years later. but he is gone. I saw a show that made me reflect one this tonight.

More to come, I must go for now.

I am terrified

I have been having a conversation with a high school student who I met while i was doing the lights for West Side Story in New Albany. Her name has been removed to ensure her privacy.



Kevin Duchon
February 11 at 9:57am

I am glad that everyone was happy with the lights. I won't be doing the lights for the soring unfortunately, as I have 2 other production I will be working on, but I would love to have the opportunity to do it all again.
I can't tell from the tiny little picture (for some reason I can't access your profile, even though we are friends) but weren't you up on the sound board?


L##### N#####
February 11 at 4:48pm

that's too bad, but it's cool that you are working on some other shows. haha, well from this message it still says that we aren't friends. and i was in the show. i didn't really have a part...it's kinda hard to explain. anyways, i will just add you again and maybe it will actually work this time!


Kevin Duchon
February 11 at 8:55pm

hmm... hard to explain? how so?


L##### N#####
February 11 at 9:17pm

well, it probably sounds kinda stupid. but, they put up the cast list and there were the 'shark girls' and we all had names so we kinda thought that we might have some lines or maybe a small part in a song or something, but it turned out that most of us were just in the background in america and just danced in the big dance number. i guess im just not sure if i actually consider it a part. i know we were needed for the dance numbers, but i think a lot of us were just expecting a little bit more than we actually got. haha, sorry that was so long.
did you ever do theatre stuff in high school??


Kevin Duchon
February 11 at 9:58pm

I did do theatre in high school. I have a similar story...
I auditioned for Les Miserables. And when I went in for the singing number, I actually got the music director to say under his breath, "wow". I did a countertenor rendition of Scarborough Fair.
I got the part off Constable someone or another. I thought that it must have been a decent sized part, because the musical director was impressed. Turned out that I sang less than three lines (I sang two and a half, because I get cut off by the other constable).

I was rather upset. But I got through it. Turns out that acting was not my true calling int he theatre. My advice, stick it through. The best part about high school acting is not the onstage part; it is the back stage stuff. Hanging with all your friends, and having a great time. I feel compelled to tell you that the people who get the big roles in high school are doomed to normality in college. So, all the bitchy people that think they are the shit are in for a wake up call.


L##### N#####
February 12 at 3:06pm

i'm glad that someone actually has experienced something similar to what i did. none of my friends are really into to theatre and the ones that are don't really care to much about it or just complain all the time about how much work they actually have to put into it. so, most of my friends who are in theatre either get a bigger part or just get a small part and don't really care. i guess i just got a little more upset with it was because last year i was in the ensemble but i actually had some singing parts that i could be recognized by.
thanks for the advice! it actually makes sense, haha. lately, i've just been second guessing if i actually want to do it since i haven't had too much success in this stuff so far. but. it's just that i love it so much and it's so frustrating not to be reaching the goals that i wnat to reach...if that makes any sense. and i totally agree with you about the people who think they are the shit. haha, it's just wierd that they really have no idea that that's gonna happen (:


Kevin Duchon
February 12 at 3:17pm

well, the thing about college is that what you are responsible for your success. If you are great, you will go far. I imagine that you are not planning on a Theatre major, but it is a universal policy. Steve Martin had some advice:
"Be so good they can't ignore you"
That applies to more than just theatre.


L##### N#####
Today at 3:53pm

yeah. as of right now i'm not completely sure what i want to major in. i guess i have time to figure it out, but i might be interested in becoming like a teacher for music or something along those lines. but, i would love to be able to major in theatre, i'm just not sure if it's realistic for me. there are just so many different things to major in that i'm beginning to find that it's hard for me to actually narrow it down to something that i know i will enjoy and excel in.


Kevin Duchon
Today at 7:23pm

Remember with teaching that you will have to go to grad school. I have no opinion for others on grad school, just be aware. And as far as your major, realize that by the end of it, you are going to be so sick of it and that you will likely end up in a field that is kinda related but is so different than you expected.
And there is always the possibility of a dual major (so much work) or a minor or two (much less work and you will get the basics of the field). But remember that as far as a minor is concerned, you are doing it all for yourself, because in the real work, employers don't give a dam what you minor in. I haven't even started to look for a job, but I have heard this. Truth be told; I am terrified.

Define love

I was recently invited to join a group on facebook called "I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who believe in gay rights". The picture to the left is the facebook photo to represent the group. Now, I could be wrong... but shouldn't it be all about not defining love? Aren't we supposed to let love flourish into whatever it comes to be? As Siddhartha Gautama has said, Define me and Limit me.

realities

In my previous post (see below) discussed the decision between having all of a moment for a brief time or having a small section of the moment forever. But what lead into that was the bat outside my apartment.

I took a look on my way out the door... deflated metallic balloon caught on a power line.


And so I now discuss reality: it happens. Every once in a while when you think you have the most amazing something or another going on... it happens to deflate before your eyes.
But not everytime: sometimes there is real beauty.

memories

I saw something pretty cool this morning, I haven't even left my apartment yet. Outside my window there is a large bat hanging from the power lines, still alive, mind you. I can easily get my camera and take a picture of it ion my way to class. But I am not going to. I know that a picture of it will not turn out well. It would be a waste.
There is a quote that has existed to me since the 90s. "Would you choose to have a piece of something forever, or the whole thing for just a moment?" It was from Touched by an Angel. That was a good program...
Anyway. It mostly speaks of taking photos. You can kill the magic of the moment by getting the camera and snapping the photo, but you can also preserve it forever...
The moral of the story is that sometimes the memories of something are better than any proof you could create. People might not believe me that this bat is huge... but I know the truth. And that is all that matters in this case, since it isn't hurting anything.

List of sub-real movies

I feel that it is easiest to call these sub-real, becasue they are not all surrealism. But most people don't know the difference. So here goes:

Cell, The
Dark Crystal, The
Destino (Part of the Fantasia Movie)
Fall, The
Fountain, The
Hellboy 2
Topo, El

The Fountain and The Fall

Both are beautiful movies, the Fall is surrealism, the Fountain is formism. The bending that goes on in both is very similar. However there is one key difference. There are plenty of drugs in the fountain...

chapstick?

I need some. After 4 beers my lips are rough... not at all kissable (and I am sure nobody likes it... taste of my... not cherry chapstick) haha.
point: go to a party armed for the worst in lip care.