mime teacher

Gregg Goldston. He is kinda a big deal.

so fucked up...

get this.
I am writing a paper for Tony's class about light and the color choices that go along with it. Well, the first dramatic lighting I saw in college was at a showing of the ballet "Firebird" and I make references to it as my first lighting experience of merit. Well, the irony is that the person who accompanied me to it was Page... odd how life ties these things up so nicely.

transsexual

I saw a pre-op come into my store today, I waited on her. That is what she is, a her. Sexual identity and sexual orientation are two different things. There is a stereotype of gay men becoming women. That is not true. Many women also go through the procedure. They are just less noticed. It is not uncommon for a girl to put on boy's clothes, but somehow it is degrading for a man to put on a woman's outfit.
There is a short passage called "Skins" about this subject. I wish I could recall the source. It states that one person should be able to put on the skin of another. It makes little sense at some points, but that is the basic concept. It is not until you see this for yourself that you can understand. There is nothing wrong, well, nothing that concerns you or I. A person on the outside should not judge.
Now, the way that the meeting went was uneventful. I used no gender specific things, such as sir or ma'am. I simply was myself, and made no comments. I knew at the first moment that a word was uttered, but I wasn't sure until I saw the hands at the register. She paid in cash, almost a dead giveaway...

Discovery

I move in just a few days... only a few days.
But, I was shocked that people are shocked that I wanted to bring home a pint of ice cream for Page. She likes Lavender, and we finally made a flavor that is just straight up lavender, without the cranberry. I figured i would bring some home, and I would have, but I forgot. Plus I didn't ask Stan or Denise if it was OK. I will remember tomorrow.
There is a thing called "the Welder's Rose" it is a rose and stem made of sheet metal. It has very sharp corners and easily draws blood.
My friend (who hasn't told everyone else yet, so he is not going to be named until he has done so) was broken up with today over the phone. I am glad that I am here for him. Even though I am only on the phone, I like to think that i can be (at least) a distraction for him.
There is blood all over my class schedule. I was very stressed out the other day, to the point that it actually made me bleed spontaneously.

Bryce

Reflections on Bryce.

Bryce is the name of the guy that Justin, who is Josh's ex, is dating. He is a theatre grad student, and seems very nice. I don't remember much about him other than he is really nice.
Oh, and he wears glasses.

on napping

Napping makes you more tired. I am exhausted now, and now I am getting ready to head out with Conrad for "Stomp". It should be fun.

Gayborhood?

On April 1st there will be a new online show called, Gayborhood.
I don't really understand what the point of it is. Obviously it is filled with gay people and other shit... but what is the purpose of this show?

donate

please donate, kevin is poor.

another dream

I had a dream where my eyes were sealed shut, except for just a small amount. I had to strain to see anything and it was all blurry. But I realized what it translates to: I am having trouble seeing another perspective. That is obvious.

shopping with my mother

wasn't too bad. Even though she and I have completely different shopping patterns. I decide what I want to eat and shop to cook those meals. She goes and sees what is on sale and then plans the meals on the spot. The advantage of my way is that you spend a relatively predictable amount of money. The advantage of her way is that you eat more diversely. I am currently sitting here eating a green pear, and my mother just asked if I want some scrambled eggs.

Strange dream

In my dream, my speakers still worked, but the little controller display didn't. I had new sheets, both were red jersey fabric. I was trying to wash them, and I just threw the entire ordeal into the washing machine.

anon

I am here and now.
I keep on seeing more of myself.
Even surprises that i didn't see. My oh my.
Even something like the title of this blog.
Kevin Anon
look at the vowels, all outlined by their brackets.
EIAO
no repeats, and every other letter.
KVNNN
Three repeats, all in a row...
couldn't have planned it better if I tried. Never better.

It is good news

I must admit, I have under reacted to Ann's good news. So-- cool.

On raison

I recieved an email titled "A RAISON A SEASON OR A LIFETIME" it is meant to say a REASON, but whatever.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Naturalism

I think that the post a few days ago deserves and explanation.
Naturalism is characterized by an underdog being present and showing the world from their view. In plays such as Theres Raquin, characters find themselves locked into a world everything is super ordinary, that means very vanilla, not super-normal.

outlook

Double, double, switch, switch.
Double, Double, hearty, hearty.
Double, double, switch, don't forget to dance.

Pablo Picasso's Desire Caught by the Tail
Here is your tea: no cup, no saucer, no milk, no sugar, no water, no tea.

And Alice in Wonderland
The Duchess: If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.

I feel no need to explain any of it.

chuckle

hi Page!
I see you watching!![wink]

reverse tracking

thank god for modern technology. I can now see the IP address of those who read my blog, and for those that don't know what that means:

Every time that you view my blog, there is a counter and recorder. It records what time and who viewed the web page. This wonderful technology is based on the exchange of what is called a cookie. There is nothing harmful done to the viewer's computer, nothing at all is left on there, all the information travels upstream to the main servers and trackers.

if I could just find out who
14.47.405.01 is... they have been watching rather closely lately.

just berfore I head off to work

So, I see what you have tried to do.
I am on to you. I knew it would come to this, so I came prepared. I took every precaution to avoid your trap, and in the end. I win. I let you think I gave into your attempts, but You will see later that i am the one who controls the situation.

Moral: Don't assume that you are the pack leader, you usually are wrong. If you are the one that "pack leader" thinks is the "underdog", the illusion you provide is one of your most powerful attributes. Wink more.

2001: A space Odyssey --> sucks!

Even if you understand the futurism behind it, it still sucks. The shots are too long, and the ape scene is too -- how to say-- overly dramatic.

why

i am sure that you told me already, but i can't remember why you don't like my new friend. I don't think that he is slime. Just because he has one friend that is a shithead doesn't mean that he is, although i do value your opinion. Moore than most others. I just wish that you would remind me why you don't like him.

reality

We don't know what life is, yet we're still alive.
- a quote taken from The Mother by Witkacy

why?

I ask myself why a lot. Especially when it concerns things I have chosen to do. I suppose that communication is a good thing. But last night was a rough time. I feel like a jerk now... but I am sort of glad that I said it, because now I am not just internalizing it all. Maybe it even explains why I it has been about three weeks since I have really done anything about it...

something wonderful

Every instant message of my recent life is documented. All except for one. I never thought I would enjoy that. But i liked what happened today. It is all gone, this one conversation i mean. But it is like it only happened for me and this other person. Memories only.

i love it.

on women

I don't really know how I feel about women. They tend to be rather needy.
Maybe I am just jaded, but it seems that most of the needy people that I See in my life are females. My mother, Ann, even some of my professional friends. Really, it is not that i don't like helping people, but seriously? Do you really expect me to do that? People wonder why I am so stressed out, and why It is taking so long to go through school. Why I am sometimes late to work, late to class, late for my own things; because I am busy doing things for these people; I am not putting myself first. It gives me a sense of worth, knowing that they appreciate me-- but suddenly I am starting to feel that they don't appreciate me.
I am not one to ask for assistance unless I have done as much myself as possible. And, as I have noticed, my guy friends are the same way. But these women-- are they even trying? I am not sure anymore.

say what?!?!?

all I will say is:
Dream
Captain of a Football Team
Homosexual Deviance
Nice Guy
Filtered Water
Dish Soap on Tap

This translates to an idea that society has painted into my mind. I attribute this to a thing i heard on the news yesterday, about how a congressman or someone wants some football player to be let off the hook for lying to congress.

triscuits

I have had so many varieties of triscuits crackers recently, and something funny happened today:
I got a plain triscuit in my box of rosemary and olive oil triscuits.
Oh, the shame!

I knew it would happen eventually

Good morning, Fru!
Didn't expect that I would bump into you. I suppose that it was to be expected.

jobs

you know what job would be really embarrassing to have?
set designer for adult films... hehehe.

what I did

I just did something great. I showed restraint. Go me...

she had it right

The only way out is through. I will grant her that.
In my modernism class we find ourselves asking "is there a away out?" I finally had the prefect answer one day, it was the day of futurism--> the only way out is through.

We have to live life in order to get trough it. Formism says that drugs are what we need. Cubism says that we need to break out of the society that holds us, remove ourselves. Naturalism says that we can get out by the removing the people that are above us in society. Symbolism says that we can't get out unless a greater force pulls us out. It might even be argued that Dadaism has a claim in saying that life is "just a joke", getting out is avoiding the whole purpose.

So, the only way out is by staying in. Refuse to leave until the the end presents itself to you.

I would have

I would have knocked on your door and asked if you are ok. But, now, I do not. Why? Because you can not see my good intentions. So, instead, i put on my headphones and act like i can't hear you.

I can have a heart of ice.

on alain

alain: so look down
Me: look down at what exactly?
alain: its help you to communicate
alain: we say that when someone flyes to high
alain: for the other birds who have to follow...
alain: hehe

into your folder

I am adding this to your folder... into your folder, with your name.