On Jeff

I first met Jeff my freshman year of college, about 5 years ago, when I was working at a store on campus. He was a frequent customer who had a crush on me I later found out. But a few months after meeting him I found out he has/had a degeneration blood disease. I doubt that is accurate, as I never really talked to him after that to find out the details. I was a scared kid who didn't know how to deal with something like that, so I just ignored him till he went away. I became his facebook friend before finding this out and never really got around to deleting him. I randomly clicked on his profile every once in awhile, and never stayed too long. But only moments ago I discovered his death. One of his friends (a REAL friend) posted funeral details a couple weeks ago, and since then people have been writing him things on his wall. I wish I hadn't been such chicken shit back then. I deleted him now, as i do not deserve to be his friend, even on facebook.
Moral: I am not the brave and loving person I think I am. Deep inside, or maybe it is long ago, I am fearful jerk who pushed away a dying man because I was afraid. What the hell was wrong with me?