About Alex

So, you want to know ‘About me,’ do you? You’re willing to take the time out of your busy little life to read my mundane little blurb? You must really be bored.
Here, take my advice, stop now. Better yet, go read a book. OK? You have my permission. Go. I’ll see you later.

Still reading, eh? Yeah, I didn’t think that’d shake you. So, what if I gave you a direct command? STOP READING!

You didn’t. Why? Because you can’t stop, can you? You just HAVE to know what lies in the next sentence. Curiosity has gotten the best of you. Well I recommend you fight back. You CAN stop. Just leave. Exit off my page. Go ahead, it won’t hurt you. You’ll go on to live a perfectly happy (or miserable) life without ever knowing what lies at the end of this paragraph. So Go.

You didn’t Go.

Ya know, that’s a real problem; our curiosity that is. It’s very difficult to overcome, isn’t it? So, what kind of person are you? CAN you stop? WILL you overcome that urge?

You didn’t.

It’s like when someone says, “Don’t look up.” And you do. Why? Because of our weakness called Curiosity. Granted, it’s not always a bad thing. It’s due to Curious that humanity has progressed as far as we have. We’ve created great technologies which facilitate our lives and help us in unthinkable ways. But Curiosity has gotten people killed too.
Well, here we are. You and me. Sitting here with this webpage. Have I taken up too much of your time? Hey, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I never asked you to stay; in fact, I ORDERED you to go, and yet, you didn’t (for what motives I’ll leave to your own judgment). So, you want to know what this is all leading up to? Am I going to put anything of value into this paragraph? Well, for my ‘About me’ section, “I am Alex Childs and my favorite color is Blue.” The end. That’s it. That’s everything this has been leading up to. The big climax. The pinnacle of the past few minutes. The summit of all these worthless words. Now, don’t you feel stupid? You could have left when I told you to; saved yourself some time. Don’t go blaming me.
That’s just the kind of person I am.