I have reviewed your relationship with your mother. After much thought I have reached a conclusion. You need to start saying "no" to her. There comes a time when all good boys must turn into men. They leave the nest and fly into the wide world. I am not criticizing your life choices, simply drawing attention to the natural order of things. I am not a psychologist, nor am I qualified to tell you anything about how to live your life. But I am able to tell you were you differ from most men. When you get somewhere, rather than joining the party or cracking one open, you call your mother to tell her that you got there safe. This is not necessarily a bad thing, you are keeping her from worrying. But at what expense? At the expense of your own life. You are so caught up in doing what makes your mother happy that you are chipping away at your own life. You are weakling other relationships that should be occupying your emotional pool in an attempt to keep your relationship with your mother intact. She is a strong influence in your life, again not a bad thing. It is actually a great thing that she has such a deep, consistent presence in your life. But don't you think that you should allow a little more room for people who actually accept you for who you are and that don't want to to tie you down with their own religious hatred? If you are going to have people in your life, they should love you for you. Not love you only if they can keep you the way you were when you were ten. She is trying to keep you from discovering that there is a whole world of people who can accept the parts of you she can't stand to acknowledge.
She doesn't know you're feeling trapped, because you don't tell her. You can't tell her, because you don't know it yourself. You don't know it because she has never let you see it, because she thinks she is protecting you.
You need to tell her that you are going out sometime and that you won't be back that night. Tell her that you need your independence. When you take it, you will be giving her independence, too. She depends too much on you for her own mental stability. She uses you for this. She is dependent on you...
... Maybe I should turn this around. Rather than her pushing you out of the nest to let you fly, you are actually letting her fly but taking the space. You are forcing her to make her own happiness. To be more self reliant. She is afraid she will loose you, but that is what she needs right now. Just for a short while.
P.S. I can never love you when so much of you belongs to someone else, even if she is your mother.
