texts...

what does it mean if someone texts you, telling you that they just left the gym?

the bleeding

When I get stressed out... The blood just comes.

dissapointed

I can't believe that a friend I haven't spoken to on the phone in over half a year has chosen to masturbate rather than answer my phone call. And then he tells me to hold on till he finishes.

not so far away

This stripper guy wanted me. Or at least wanted my money, till i called him out on being on the payroll.
I suppose I should be complimented? Or maybe not. It was rather interesting how it happened, mostly because there was an immediate destruction of the illusion. But he was nice enough. And one thing I learned that night, is that being nice to people does pay off. It paid off as soon as I got to axis.

I don't want to divulge any more details, because it is just going to make me sound trashy, but my closing thought is this:

Don't be rude to someone just because they are ugly. Often times "ugly" people are just as nice as everyone else. And also, don't be mean to hot people, often times hot people are just as nice as everyone else.

mark is right

he is correct. Pride and Comfest should not be on the same weekend. Naturally you would expect the larger event to take priority. But, pride is the same weekend nationally, Comfest is a Columbus thing. So, should Comfest move for pride or vise-versa? Mark feels that Pride, since national, should take priority. Most straight people feel Comfest should. Does Mark feel this because of him being gay? or does he genuinely feel that Pride is a national phenomena?

Reflection on the system

The system works. it has worked for years and years and years. But it changes the people involved. Suddenly they are all hard... little pieces of them have died inside. as they hurt in and out, scratching out the days on the wall.

odd bag of emotions (at 2:30 am)

I try to not be pissed.
But, realizing that i have no right to be. And it all makes sense. I see what you have been hiding from me for so long. That you lied and hid it from me for months, and then kept cloaked in vagueness until yesterday. You still haven't told me, because you don't think I should know, I found out all by myself and hundreds of miles didn't hide it any better than 5 blocks would have. But, do not think that I am going to hold you up longer. I shall let you float... so very gently away.

But, I can not keep you from calling back to me. I am not sure how I will respond, with anger or with love. Foe now; this explains silence. For future, I tell you lovingly to fuck off.

Turok

It is way harder to kill dinosaurs when you are drunk. I swear, didn't think that martini(s) had that much of a punch.

so popular...

i have given two interviews over the past week, one appeared on national news (Fox news) and the other is a podcast for Columbus food. The funny thing is, and I am realizing this now, the interviewers completely changed what i said to make me fit their story/motive. They original dialogue is so horribly chopped and hacked up that it makes me sound like I have a completely different motive.
So, my advice, decline to be interviewed.

skip to 14 mins for my interview.

http://columbusfood.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=349089

Odd to admit this...

but that Miley Cyrus has a half decent voice. I say half decent because I assume that there is a lot of audio FX going on with the music...
But that song "See You Again" isn't bad. At least the remixes I hear.

interesting comparison

That is so Gay!
That is so Black!

One of these is perfectly acceptable, the other will get you kicked in the teeth.

GAYS IN THE MILITARY

I don't think that gays should have to serve in the military. Women should be drafted before gays, because the heads of the country do more to support them. The guys signing the war papers support women more than they support gay men. Don't believe me?
What freedoms to gays have than women don't? I am only going to discuss the one that is on my mind now, I am sure I could come up with others if this did not preoccupy me so. Marriage.
Straight guys bitch about how if they have to die for their country, they should be able to buy a six pack for their country-- this complaint only lasts for three years, between ages 18 when they are eligible for draft and 21 when they can buy alcohol. Gay men have can complain for 8 years, until they are 26 and ineligible for the draft. But, they still complain afterward... because their problem still exists.

Veritus Clatta

Anche depo il Combitteroa. Sees intersting, ma, tia blet cept itss.

Noodle!

I saw a noodle today. She was very warm from the walk, but I gave her some ice cream and she was very happy to see me. I knew right away that she recognized me. But the funny thing is, she would not listen to Kate when Kate wanted her to go. But all it took was me guiding her up/out of the corner to send her on her way. Funny how dogs can remember you after a long(ish) time.

still here

I am still here, and I am doing alright.
I suppose I owe you an update. Funny how I assign you an update...
Anyway, I suppose I should begin where I left off, with reflecting on what I see.
I see "shiny" things all around me, but I know that many of them are simply gilded shit. There is little below the surface.
Now, as far as the specifics of this life. I am listening to a lot more music, especially because there are some halfway decent speakers at work now. I recently had an interesting conversation with someone about music. They claim to be alright with every type of music, but they are of the opinion that techno should stop existing. So, they are obviously not tolerant of everything. I don't understand why people don't just say that they only like certain types of music.
On another note:
Sapphire Martini, up, three olives. I am not alone in this!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1813453

reality

**This post include specific code words used to mean multiple things, therefore viewing each sentence as relative to the those surrounding it is not advised.**

Relatively speaking, I am happier than I have been in a long time, because I have freed myself of a load that has been on my mind for well over a month and a half. I saw something today that lead to me smiling. And it was not that I was happy with what I saw, but more so I was happy to see it. I am glad that ed and I had the impression that he hoped we would. I am glad I could do that for him.
But that was last night, and time moves in only one direction-- directly in one direction. Today I saw something very similar walk by my store. I saw a pair of eyes look so distantly toward high street, avoiding the temptation to look into my store.
And so, as I stared right at her, preparing to wave friendly if she looked in, I realized that she is trying to create a new life for herself, which can include very limited things from her old life. I did not look in the same way as she crossed back in front of my store the second time. I just gave her the space she requested, even though she would have never known if I was mentally hovering six inches away from her.
So, I feel better. At least like I have an understanding a bit more for her inexcusable actions. Perhaps there is a certain magic in these inane ramblings, all of which uncover a bit more of my own feelings-- things that are not child's game.

Guy at Axis III

Back on January 29th I wrote about a guy named Joel Field. Well, I bumped into him again last night. Nice guy, really. I didn't know where I knew him from at first, but I figured it out.
I really don't think there is much else to say.

back to 32 bit

I have returned to 32 bit windows XP. I like it better.

lymph nodes

Do you know what the lymph nodes do? they act as filters for the blood. Basically, if you have an infection (bacterial) they catch the bacteria. They also trap an foreign crud in your blood, which often enters through an open wound. Now, cocoa powder is very messy, and my neck feel like it is going to burst now... let's do some math...
Anyway, I hope that it goes away soon. I can hardly swallow.