Why I prefer to do things myself

 I am a "do it yourself" kinda guy.  If I need a home repair done, or a task completed I will look up how to do it and then I'll take care of it.  This is because I prefer to be self-sufficient.  People like me have a lot of skills, but we also have a lot of baggage.  The reason we have this desire to be able to do it ourselves is because we don't want anyone else to screw it up.  We come from a past of people letting us down.  If we don't rely on others, then there is no chance for someone else to mess everything up for us.

A good book

 I go through phases of reading often and reading rarely.  I am about to transition into an "often" phase.  I know this because I am starting a new book.  My husband and I are reading a book together.  It is a nice bonding activity that we can do together rather than the lame things other couples do (drink and watch netflix after the kids are in bed).  Not that I am judging other couples... but I am.

And now, the explination

 A few years ago I had a friend who I spent a fair amount of time with.  We eventually fell out of contact, but then by a random change we came back together.  Shortly thereafter was a sexual encounter.

I am not sure why he popped back into my head, but he did this week.  So I tried to reach out to him.  It is still Sunday, and the only contact method I can find is a work email address, so I have not expected a reply yet.  It would be nice to get back in touch with him, mostly because I think that I would like to know that he is okay, last time I spoke to him he had a lot to figure out.

But, also for me.  I would love to know what caused him to resurface in my mind.  Hopefully a phone call will satisfy that.

I have grown

 It is amazing to come back to a place that you thought was gone forever.  I am so much more of a person now.  More experiences, and more wisdom.  Perhaps I had outgrown the notion that the whole word cared what I had to say?  But tonight I did some reading, of this blog.  It was like looking at old photos.

I encourage you, dear void where I imagine there is a reader, to look back at your old writings.  You might find some great things.

Now, years later

I am terribly unhappy.

I have Two firends

I have two friends from my childhood years, I went to school with them.  Both grew up to be in fantastic physical shape.  One, the guy, turned into a total douchebag.  He always was a party boy.  The other, who was always more humble, still clings to her inner beauty.  I expect that in 30 years, when all three of use are pushing 60, both of them will be fading anatomically.  I think, though, that the female will still be loved by all who surround her.  The man will be alone, because he was only pretty on the outside...
Moral: Don't be a douchebag.

Full of himself

Several weeks ago I went to a party where a three some broke out, which I did not participate in.  But one of the other guests did.  He was an opera fan, a personal trainer, and an extrovert.  He seemed like a nice fellow, but wasn't what I would called "boyfriend material".  Although, finding an opera goer my age is difficult so I made a mental note to get in touch with him.
Flash forward to yesterday while on the train; I'm going through my phone and find a number that I dont know nor do I have any recollection of who it belongs to. I text it asking politely who it is and explaining the funny situation.  I get an immediate response of bubbly words, asking who I was. A few lines later I realize that it is my opera going friend, and proceeded to tell him who I was.
-silence-
So 20 minutes later I called him out on his silence.   I saw nothing to loose.  He responded with:
"Kev we didn't really hit it off man. And I don't think I wanna talk. But you take good care and I'll see ya round."
...what? I think he has a completely different idea of what I'm looking for... so I of course tell him that we probably will never see each other around cause he doesn't want to talk.
It then hit me that he thought I was interested in him sexually...
His life is so filled with clients hitting on him, friends trying to initiate three somes, and being a partyboy that he forgot you can have platonic gay friends.

The photo is certainly doctored, as is evident by the fact that the the upload time/date is the same and that the likes and re-tweets are the same.  But it still raises a good point: bitches be crazy!

High Standards

The trick is not to let the temporary solutions become permanent.  That is how you keep high standards while keeping yourself from going crazy.

Ice Cream

I still make ice cream, and the best past is that I can name it whatever I want.  I come up with names like "The King can Kiss my Ass" (peanut butter and banana) or "Shit for Brains" (chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and chocolate pieces).  So if anyone has any great ideas for flavors, just give a hollar.

threesome that i was not invited to

I went to a party last night, there was a threesome.  I was not invited to join in .

if we want to draw parallel between bibles and cell phones, that would require the bible to be updated.  A more realistic statement would be comparing them to smoke signals
What if we treated our Bibles the way we treat smoke signals?
what if we...
...ignored them while driving through the country, cause random puffs of smoke is perfectly normal those parts?
...stared at it confused, cause it doesn't make a lick of sense?
... let it's users know "there is a better and more acceptable way"?
...used it as a last resort, cause every other sane method has been exhausted.
...spent an hour or more using it each day? (I leave this one alone, cause we all know how slow it is to make smoke signals.)

Gay Agenda

Today at work I lied to a customer about my sexuality. Not because I thought he would react violently or crass, but because he seemed the type to over-compensate. Visions flashed through my mind of him going on about how great gay people are or how wonderful it is that I can do what I do without fear of conflict. Really, I just wanted him to get in and get out as quickly as possible so I could move on to the next paying customer...
I don't have a gay agenda, unless you count "just be treated normally" as an agenda.

K'naan

I don't like rap music, but this guy is a little different.  I like the fact that he is actually a poet/philosopher, and then puts his words over a beat.  He "raps" about his life as a child and how hard it was growing up in Somalia.  His rhymes are often about anger and sorrow.  But he does make mention about how to fix the problem, about how the pursuit of power is what lead to the suffering; he shares this common idea with many philosophers.
If you are curious about what he sounds like, listen to this:
http://www.knaanmusic.com/music/

Terrible answer

Next time someone asks you what you wanted to be when you grew up: I never really thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, cause i never thought I'd make it past age 14.

Sad

When I should be happy for someone,  but I'm just jealous.

Shake and bake theatre

In 2011 I started a theatre company in the ghetto of Columbus.  Well, now I live in an area of New York City that is occupied by a large number of lower income households.  I went to a neighborhood meeting last night and it brought back a good off memories;  a bunch of 40-60 year old white people complaining about the telephone poles and the dog shit on the sidewalks. 
Despite all that,  there was a vote about converting a abandoned street into a performance space.   I was all for it,  cause that would be a great thing to have as a theatre company.  I have my vote of "aye" without realizing that I wasn't supposed to vote without paying dues.  But whatever.  I have my business card to the president if the association and told her of my plan.  She took it enthusiastically,  but asked no follow up questions.   I am wondering how excited she really is.
What she doesn't know it's that I already have half the structure in place for the company.  I still (as an individual) own all the names and logos for The Highland West Players.  Likely we will have to change the name,  but it is much easier to change the imaging and paperwork than to completely recreate it.

Advice

Never date a lawyer.  They aren't' good people.

The events of today

Today I was off work, but I had work on my mind all day long.  I am starting to think that the other manager finds me incompetent.  I know what has happened.  I know what is causing him that think that, and now I can fix it.

Moral: it does no good beating yourself up when you can fix it.  I can fix it, so I don't need to feel bad.

On Facebook

Last night I stopped posting on Facebook.  Why?  Cause I'm tired of the advertising. I kept on thinking my friends were taking about new products,  But it was all paid advertisements.   I'm not planning on deleting it,  just not going to post or read it anymore.  I already deleted the phone app,  and next time I'm at my computer I'll clearer the browser shortcut.
The moral off all this is that many people allow themselves to be bombarded with advertising just so they can take quizzes that sell their information to huge companies who put out more advertising.  It's a terrible cycle.

I'm the boss

I let the girls at work get away with a lot. But now c I'm going to treat them like I treat the guys.   I'm going to be a hard ass.  They can take it.  I don't think I shOuld let them get away with what terrible habits they have.   No more!

The flood

I wish I had a flood of positive emotions.  I'm in a great mood, but that's just the whiskey talking.

Far Away Land

Recently I find myself in a far away land, where the past comes alive. But in this place I am now alone.  Allies previous have abandoned me, while old enemies see me on level terrain.  There will be few new diplomatic bonds formed.  I will see the reclusive men as they are.

Legends

The woman in White:
The woman in white is a ghost who clings to this world, haunting men who are unfaithful to their wives/lovers.  The individual ghost is the remnant of a woman who kills herself from a tragic lost love (Madam Butterfly style).  She is usually extremely violent and causes direct harm to men.
The Woman in Black:
The woman in Black is a ghost who haunts the care-givers of children who are not the birth parents.  She longs to be reunited with her own child, who was taken/lost, resulting in her killing herself.  Usually much more manipulative than a woman in white, causing the care-givers to quarrel and ultimately trying to separate them so that she can take the child.

Conclusion: Bitches be crazy.

Ten Question GAY test

Answer each question bellow,  add up the points associated with each question you answer "yes" to.
1.) Are you a guy who played with dolls as a child or a girl who played with trucks?(1 point)
2.) Do you know what PFLAG stands for?  (1 point)
3.) Do you like musical theatre?  (1point)
4.) Democratic Atheist who makes more than 50k a year? (1 point)
5.) You have a pet with a clever name rather than a typical name.  (1 point)
6.) Do you call Home Depot "homo-depot" with a giggle?  (1 point)
7.) Do you feel that shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy objectify gay men and produce a poor image for society?  (1 point)
8.) Do you like Techno?  (1 point)
9.) Anderson Cooper takes it in the pooper!  (1 point)
10.) Do you want to have sex with the same gender and not the opposite gender? (90 points)

Now add up your total points. If the total is more than 50, you are GAY.

What!?

20 ounces of cola per day for a year will work out to the same calories as 35 pounds of pure fat

Reverence

I remember her in the end.  The way she folded the tablecloth so precisely.  Like it was the flag of a country that no longer existed,  but once ruled the world.

Reasons why College is better than Highschool

Dear Chad:
I got your email about your education.  I encourage you to go to College.  High School sucks, sometimes, but you seem to want to be there for the right reasons, reasons that matter in College.  So here are some things to look forward to:

1. Everyone is cool in College.  In highschool there are the geeks and the popular kids.  In college there are so many people that you are not alone, no matter how odd you feel.  You will make friends.  And everyone is so occupied with their own lives that they have no time for being the jerks you hate.
2. At college you can learn as much as you like.  You mentioned that you like classes at school, that the learning was the part you liked.  Well, College has plenty of places for you to further that on your own.  No need to be held up by the other people.
3.  There is a new set of classmates for nearly every class you take.  And the people that you DO see regularly are all in your same major program, so they have similar likes and dislikes and that means they will often like you.
4.In college you get to do REAL things.  You aren't just running through the steps of the process.  Do to the much higher funding for universities, you are actually able to produce professional results.  For example, I was a theater student, and all the shows we put on at the university were off-Broadway quality.
5.The friends you make in college are actually lifelong friends.  Not like in high school were you say you'll keep in touch and never do.  These people are with you during life occurrences like babies, weddings, and career moves.
6.You are going to get so cultured!  Having to take a bunch of classes you have no interest in, but have to in order to graduate is going to open your eyes to views you didn't even know existed.  You will love some, hate some, but all will make you think a little.

Dear "Pitt" Man

Dear "Pitt" man:
 Recently I came to a conclusion about lawyers.  I think it is best to treat them like the three year old children of other people.  Let them have their ways because they are stubborn and not going to ever change their ways.  You can't correct them, because they will never think anything they do is wrong.  In some cases they will lie to get what they want, in other cases they will through a tantrum and make a big scene.  Sometimes they are the sweetest little angels one minute and the next minute they have turned on you.
I would advise you to let him do whatever he thinks is best as long as it isn't hurting anyone.  Don't confront him, he won't listen to reason.  He will ad homin.

P.S. Don't ask a doctor about anything either.

Ryan Kwanten

Why does Ryan Kwanten wear so many tuxedos?